My Sign

I read an article today about how we see and treat people and I can't stop thinking about it. If we really knew what people were dealing with would we approach things differently in how we think, act, react??

I really (like really) try to be positive. I am a glass half-full person in most cases. I try to figure out how to fix things and make things better. Sometimes, though, life is hard and things are going on around us....we can't make people happy or fix this situation etc....

I was thinking about what my sign would say if I was really being honest.

So, in the spirit of being real, here is my sign -

Really, I am doing my best and often I feel like it's not quite enough.

Like today when I made it to lunch duty just on time with food for my kids and I was feeling like I had pulled it together pretty well considering Jeremy is out of town and I had to get 5 kids out the door by 7:30. I was excited about my new striped shirt from Gap and the fact that I actually had a necklace to match. I thought my fashion conscious 3rd grader would be impressed. I was doing good until the secretary walked in the cafeteria and asked if I meant to leave my cars in the van door. No, no, I didn't mean to do that......

Speaking of Jeremy being out of town. He does that....often. And it's hard. I miss him. The kids are off when he leaves and then we get in our groove and he comes home and we are off again trying to get in our other groove. Can anyone relate?

My sign would also say......

I'm dealing with some issues with some of our kids. Some behavior, some academic, some heart issues. We have them.....they do and I do. Seriously friends....I didn't even know I had some of these issues until God graced me with children who have stretched me in ways I never knew I needed stretching.

One of the issues we are dealing with leaves me wondering why this kid has to have one more thing to deal with.

Then there is the kid that is easy and I wonder if I give her enough because she doesn't really have a lot going on! I know.....crazy!

Oh, and, the baby. The sweet, sweet baby. She screams when I am out of her sight. She doesn't sleep much. I'm kind of tired and I am averaging 2-3 home cooked dinners a week. I have become good at pretending I cook :). Hooray for the pre-home-made meals at Sams and DLM.

I love fostering. I love, love, love having her here. I would do it again in a second. Our kids love it. The other day we had lunch with the baby's Dad and my kids just talked his ear off like this is normal. Love that. It is hard though. Really, really hard. Heavy and heartbreaking, but worth it.

Lots of people around me are hurting deeply and I hate it. I want them all to feel better and I want them to have good, happy lives. Makes me long for Jesus.

I love people! I love friends. I want so bad to be a good, true friend. I find myself frustrated that I have messed up a couple of friendships and neglected others. I have good intentions...I promise. I am not great at returning calls or listening to voicemail. I am trying to do better. Sometimes I say things I regret and I have learned the hard way that you can't take back your words.

I love my life. I love the good, the hard....all of it. I love my people. I want so bad to pour into them and sometimes that's all I've got. Enough for them. But, I know that someday I will look around and have a clean house and lunch dates and I won't be walking around with two missing acrylic nails :). My life right now keeps me constantly begging the Lord for grace and for strength. I think that is how it should be though. In the easier times I let myself think I am doing okay when really it's not me at all.

So, that is that. I am doing my best :). I know you are too!! I hope that I am a bit more mindful of what other's signs might say.