Weekend Happenings

Jeremy was out of town last week. I didn't post it on here (obviously) but wanted to now because it is so good to have him home and also to say what a blessing lots of people were who helped me. We are so thankful for the friends and family who brought us meals, cookies and helped with driving the kids around and watching them too while I have been recovering from surgery.

I am feeling good! Everyday I feel better and am getting back to my normal self. I still wear out and take naps, but overall am doing great.

Before I went in to surgery my doctor said, "You're going to feel like a new woman!" I said, "You think?" He was a little surprised and laughed. He went on to say, "Well, I sure hope so." I guess I just wasn't sure if I would feel good or not. Now....I really think I will and it is exciting to think about not having surgery for endo anymore. I even told Jeremy I might like to run a race with him. He didn't take me seriously and actually laughed a little.

I also feel especially thankful for the three little people that I gave birth to. Surgery always makes me think about how things have turned out for us. I am still amazed at God's perfect timing with all of that. I mean truth be told........I don't know how I was able to have them with all the problems I've had. I think my new doctor was surprised too. And, with that said, I am also thankful that God chose to end that time of my life where I could actually "make" babies because I wonder if we would have followed through with bringing babies into our home that I didn't deliver. We would be missing out on so much. I just wonder if we would have given up. Let me tell you, we had our fair share of people asking us if we thought God was trying to tell us something when doors would close, but we knew that sometimes things just require lots of hardwork, patience and trust that God sees the end of the story even when we can't see past the present. I'm still working on that :)!

Okay....enough with that. Here are some pictures of me and the girls from our fun outing to see a play. It was pink themed! Can you tell??

We had so much fun together! I love to hang out with my girls. They are so sweet and they are so different. They love each other and I hope and pray they will be life-long friends.



A conversation with Jake

Jake and I were hanging out at bedtime. He started to tell me about what he was going to do when he is in college. It was so interesting I stopped him so I could get out my laptop and document it. He's a neat little boy and I love him SO much!!!!

____________________________________________

Jake -I am really looking forward to being a guy who travels around the world to find animals. When I am in college.

Jake -I am really looking forward to it because I love animals and most of all I love birds.

Me - why do you love birds so much??

Jake - because they have beautiful colors and they can fly and their are a lot of different kinds.

Me - how do you know so much about birds?

Jake - I just really like to look at books about birds and the books tell a lot of stuff about it.

Me - What else do you want to tell us about what you want to do when you grow up??

Jake - I want to get a lot of birds and just look at them and study them in real life.

Me - are you going to get married someday?

Jake - I hope so.

Me - why?

Jake  - I don't want to be lonely and I don't want to die alone. Do you know what that means....dying alone means you die without a wife.

Me - Where are you going when you die?

Jake - Heaven.

Me - COOL Love you buddy. Will you live close to me?

Jake - Absolutely.

Me - awesome.

Court

Today was court AND I completely forgot!! I've been waiting for this day for so long and it just slipped my mind. I'm blaming it on the pain meds :). The good news is we were not supposed to be there. It was just a formality for the judge to grant the six month extension. I texted our case worker and asked if all went as planned and he said YES so little B will be with us for another 6 months unless his bdad gets everything  together super fast. But, this means we are in for a fun summer. Fun for him.....crazy for me! The pool with a newly walking little boy should be a hoot. I am really excited for all the fun adventures we will have with him - another beach trip, the zoo, the pool, parks, amusement parks - and just being family.

My bad attitude about the extension went away when I was talking to a foster Mommy friend and she said she sees extensions as a good things because it is more time for the baby in her home. DUH! It's about them, right?! So.....lots to look forward to. He is growing and I am so excited to buy him some cute new things for spring and summer. I picked out his Easter outfit today and now am trying to figure out everyone else's. Can you tell I've had some time on my hands???

It is causing me lots of stress now that the girls are not in the same department at some of my favorite shops. I really do love to buy them matching dresses and will even go for coordinating dresses, but this is becoming more of a challenge. Such a bummer. I know all of you who are not into matching are not relating to me here. My one friend who does not like it that I buy them matching clothes said, "I knew this day would come..." So sad.

Hope you have a happy Tuesday. Jeremy took me to Target to walk around for awhile tonight. I got myself a fountain drink and we browsed. It was wondeful. Hoping for another good day tomorrow. Back to the doctor on Thursday and hopefully back to my normal self soon after.

B-O-R-E-D

Well, the last few days have been pretty boring. I've been laying low and resting. I spent the first couple days post-surgery sleeping at my parents house because it seems if I'm here at the house everyone wants me. However, this seemed to throw everyone off. Cara was invited for a playdate and came home crying because she missed me. Jake cried again at school this morning because he missed me. It's nice to know I'm missable, but goodness, I feel bad that they are feeling stressed.

Surgery went well. I was extrmemely impressed with my doctor. He spent a lot of time in the room with us while we waited for the OR to be ready. He chit-chatted, went over the drill and prayed with us. I reminded him that I needed a small incision because of the four little people I take care of everyday and he said, "let's pray and we need to talk again." He then reminded me that he would do his best, but he may not be able to accomodate :)! He did do a great job. The cyst on the left didn't fit through the small belly button incision so he did have to make a bigger one. Everything went well and hopefully I will be back to myself in a few days.

Jake told me to ask the doctor if he could bag up the growths for show and tell. The doctor printed off pictures for him instead, but he's not taking them for show and tell (I know...I ruin all his fun).

I miss Zumba. I hope I can get back to it soon. It really does release some stress, lift my spirits and give me energy.

Sweet Sisters

I am organizing my pictures today. This one makes me smile. I wish it was better quality. This is from our girls trip to Florida.

I love this so much. They are becoming such wonderful friends.

St. Patrick's Day and Student of the Day

It just so happened that Abby got to be the Student of the Day on St. Patrick's Day! She was super excited about being student of the day and also about getting a new outfit for the occassion. It was only $6 and I figured even if it didn't hold up well it was only $6 and it looked so cute on her. I think she looks pretty in green. She was doing a closed lip smile like B ;).

 

She took these yummy cake pops for snack and they were a hit. Not the healthiest choice,

but definitely the cutest.

She darted into school on Thursday happy as can be!! I love it that she enjoys going so much. She doesn't talk a whole lot, but she tells me all about it when she gets home. Again...I am loving her at 4!

Change of Plans...Change of Heart

Today, we sat in a room with all involved in the baby's case and an unbiased court person to mediate. Today, Jeremy and I sat there and listened as all of B's birthdad's faults were put out there and discussed. Think about that. How would you want to sit in a room and have all of your faults exposed, discussed and judged.  He owned them. He didn't sit and make excuses. He owned them. I was so struck by that. Would I?? I felt embarrassed being there and wished I could leave.

We discussed the "plan". After that the mediator asked if there was a supplemental plan in place. I didn't know what this was so I asked and they said, "this is the plan that tells what will happen if he (birthdad) fails." Seriously, so wierd to be talking about the backup plan right in front of him in the event that he screws up. So, they asked birthdad what he would want to happen with B if he couldn't meet his plan. It was like we were all in a room writing a will. He said he would want us to have him. Can you imagine? How hard would that be to say if I screw up again or I just can't get it together these strangers can raise my child because there is NO ONE else to do it. I can't get over this. I know I should be able to get it after a year, but some of these children in care do not have anyone. If I couldn't parent one of my children there would be a lot of people who would do it for me (I hope!). There would be options. I can't imagine being him and not having anyone. Is it any wonder why he might be trying. Who doesn't want to love someone and be loved. This guy has noone. It is so sad.

There was more sadness that occurred that I won't go into, but it was just not a fun time. As we left the building (Jeremy, myself and birthdad) I felt so sad for him. I turned to him and said we are hoping things work out for him. He talked to us and kept saying this isn't how it was supposed to be. We had some good conversation. He is so comfortable with us now and really an open book. He sees us as trying to help him. I am glad. I said, "we love B. We want to help you. Please let us know if we can." I know.....right?! I'm crazy. I can't help it. If you were there and seen the sadness and tears in his eyes as his son is going home with us (who he thinks are his parents) you would have had nothing but compassion.

I know I have said some very negative things about this situation. It is a negative situation. There have been some very bad choices made. I have my opinions on whether or not he can parent, but this wasn't about that. This was just about a person who has messed up and wishes things were different. So hopeless.
Who am I but for grace not in the same situation. If I had been born into a different home my life could be completely different.

I had played the song "In Christ Alone" sung by Travis Cottrell over and over this morning as I had some nervous feelings about the meeting. It is so encouraging. It is so true. This person who goes up to people who I really didn't like three months ago and says kind words is not me. When we started the process to adopt three years ago we were NOT signing up to have birthparents in our life. We wanted to pick a country where the birthparents were pretty much completely out of the picture. I believe that we may have even said we don't want to spend the time and money raising someone elses child and they get to show up for the good stuff like birthday parties and soccer games. This saddens me now that I had those thoughts. Serioulsy, who do I think I am? God didn't put me here to do easy. He didn't put me here to have the most convenient situation possible.

He put us all here to love people. To show them Christ. I mess this up a lot with my big mouth. I prayed today that I would keep it shut unless it was saying postive words. I am thankful that I had self-control. So funny to me because I am alwasy talking to my kids about having self-control and I have to work on it too.

I often wonder why God is still patient with me. I am always trying to help Him.

A work in progress. I'm getting it...slowly. He is teaching me, changing my heart and it is only because of Him. I am now telling people about foster care, "If I can do it, anybody can." I'm am so not cut out for this, but Christ is giving me strength. I get attached. I love freely. I am naive. All of these things just set me up for heartbreak that can come in foster care. I am only okay in doing this because I have hope in Christ.

In Christ Alone lyrics

Songwriters: Getty, Julian Keith; Townend, Stuart Richard;

In Christ alone my hope is found

He is my light, my strength, my song

This Cornerstone, this solid ground

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease

My Comforter, my All in All

Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh

Fullness of God in helpless Babe

This gift of love and righteousness

Scorned by the ones He came to save

Til on that cross as Jesus died

The wrath of God was satisfied

For every sin on Him was laid

Here in the death of Christ I live, I live

There in the ground His body lay

Light of the world by darkness slain

Then bursting forth in glorious Day

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me

For I am His and He is mine

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

On Christ the solid rock I stand

All other ground is sinking sand

All other ground is sinking sand

On Christ the solid rock I stand

All other ground is sinking sand

All other ground is sinking sand

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From a life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell no scheme of man,

Can ever pluck me from his hand

Til he returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

I am so thankful that Jesus commands my destiny. I am so glad when I can't see the plan, when I can't make sense of it, I can trust that I have hope.

I am also super excited because birthdad is bringing me pictures of the day B was born. I can't wait!

5 Days and other Random Stuff

That is the number of days Cara did not cry at school this week! YAY! We celebrated with KFC (her new favorite). She just loves it.

So proud of her.

______________________________________________

Our picky eater tried and seemed to not hate buffalo chicken, KFC chicken (I know...who doesn't like that?) and homemade chicken noodle soup. Progress, people, progress. Thank. You. Lord.

______________________________________________

Abby learned to write Mom. She loves school and runs in the door.

_______________________________________________

B is into everything this week. He has discovered the stairs. We are re-babyproofing because he seems to be able to get past a couple of the gates. My life just got a little harder, but we are thankful that he is excited to explore. Thinking positively :)!