ISSUES

This post might be offensive to some, but it is so funny to me and means a lot to me so I'm putting it up anyways!

Everywhere I go with the baby boy, people say things if they find out he's a foster baby. Family, friends, strangers...everyone. It's okay and doesn't bother me too much because I get that people just want to know stuff. They are typically not trying to be rude, but sometimes they are. Sometimes unintentionally and other times very much intentionally.

Our most common question is...

So, does he have issues...

When I hesitate to answer this, they tend to elaborate...you know, like from his Mom?? or maybe they will say, "is he sick?" or "why doesn't she want him."

Here's the thing. I know that when you ask this, you don't know that I'm really not allowed to answer these questions. His story is his story. I signed a confidentiality agreement. I get that people aren't trying to put me in a tough spot. No biggie...really. I do think it is odd that since everyone is so concerned about us getting attached that they don't think it might be a tad bit hurtful to ask intrusive questions about his condition or to tell us why we shouldn't want him if he has this or that...

Here's the other thing...
Babies in foster care are not "given up". They are removed. Babies who are being placed for adoption by their birthparents are typically not involved with a county agency, but are placed through a private agency. So, they have gone through something to get there. We can't tell you what.

I was telling my Dad about the well-intentioned lady who caught me off guard today who asked "Does he have issues??"

You have to know my Dad to understand how funny this is to me. My Dad is a wonderful man...both my parents are great and have fully and completely loved on this little guy just like they have with J, C and A. He is a kind man, a generous man and everyone who meets him likes him. He's just a nice guy.

He walks out a while later to the dining room and says, "Jeni, next time somebody asks if he has issues, you should say, he wouldn't be in foster care if he didn't have issues dumb a--..." Cracked me up!! I mean really...isn't it an issue that your parent can't have you?! Could we leave it at that or maybe not ask me in front of a crowd of people? Just sayin :).

Oh, and one other thing...I have issues...don't we all??